Journaling

This is my journal. I just finished filling up all the pages a few weeks ago! It encompasses and records 15 years of my life. I write really small! It has been so amazing to go back and read the initial entries and compare myself to the person I am now.

One of the things that I mentioned at the end of the year in my reflections post was how therapeutic journaling has been to me. I was talking about my thankfulness journal which is not the one above. I keep a different one for that and I wholeheartedly suggest writing down things you are thankful each day. It is perspective changer.

This full and worn journal is a record of my thoughts, feelings, valleys, triumphs. In the latter part it is a lot more of how I was growing in the Lord or how God has ministered to me or convicted me. It is about his GRACE.

I haven't been a life long journaler but occasionally wrote down my thoughts and feelings until the last year. Within the last year I became a daily journaler. Well almost, I missed some days here and there.

Keeping a journal has been wonderful for those times where my tongue wanted to get the best of me. Instead I brought my issue to the Lord and then just started writing. It helped so much because by the time I was done, most of the time, I didn't feel like I had to hold my tongue anymore.

Keeping a journal has helped me to remember the verses God gives to me for particular situation or for certain circumstances. I love looking back at those especially because sometimes they fill in a piece to the puzzle for me in hindsight.

Journaling gives me a feeling of freedom. I am free because I am a believer in Christ but that doesn't mean I can share my every thought or frustration. This is a place I can write and pour out my heart.

Keeping a journal has been extremely helpful during my health journey. Putting pen to paper and talking about my symptoms and fears and then looking back at them a year later (or six or seven) has allowed me to see God's redemption and restoration. He is faithful.

It was literally like closing a book on my life when I finished this journal. It was my favorite because it had handmade pages with little imperfections on each one. The cover was hand dyed and handmade paper. Have I told you I LOVE paper? Maybe not, but I really love paper. This paper gave me warm fuzzies.

Now that I have finished recording bits and pieces of the past 15 years of my life I started a new journal. The awesome thing is that I feel like I am also literally started a new book in my life too. Great things are happening, my trust and faith in the Lord is deeper than it ever has been (trials and valleys can do that), and it feels like a new season to start writing about.

The picture below if of the cover of the journal that I chose for this next season of life. It won't be able to fit 15 years, especially since I am journaling more now, but I can't wait to be filled with JOY in seeing God's faithfulness in my life through my writing reflections.

I have to wake up at the crack of dawn to have my sweet time in my Bible and writing down my reflections but it is well worth it. Quiet time, that is uninterrupted is a priceless way to start my day. I have never been a morning person either but I look forward to this part of my day so much that it doesn't matter to me about waking up early anymore.

If you don't already, why not take a few minutes out of your day to write down your thoughts or ways God is working on you? You could even record victories and triumphs. Really anything works. It is just a still and calm time in these days that can feel so chaotic and stressful.

~Blessings~

Reflections

It is the last day of the year and it is inevitable that we take inventory of the year past. What worked and what didn't. What was hard and what was easy. What we learned and what we did or didn't accomplish. Then, usually, we make plans or goals for next year. This year, instead of sharing my goals and plans I am going to share with you my reflections of 2013. At the end of this post I am going to highlight four books that I read this year that were perspective changers for me.

Here are six words that describe my 2013~
Healing
Trust
Growth
Discipline
Determination
Grace

The following are things that in no way have I mastered. These are convictions, challenges, motivators and good things that have come from my past 365 days.

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Keeping a Thankfulness journal is therapeutic. There were so many days in 2013 that I woke up feeling awful. Feeling like I didn't want to get out of bed. Physically in pain not wanting to move. Depressed at my life's circumstances. Wanting to give up at times. Getting up and coming down to read my bible, do a devotional and write in my thankfulness journal almost always changed my perspective. There were always things to be thankful for. In fact, I live quite a blessed life in spite of autoimmunity and health problems. Those mornings it was challenging to make the choice to be thankful but when I did it forced me to think on the good things.
Philippians 4:8 says Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
There is a reason why God tells us to "Think on these things." They have power to change your mind and thoughts. I really recommend keeping a Thankfulness journal. Record a few thoughts or sentences each day of the things you are blessed by, what you are thankful for, or what you are grateful for. You can also record answered prayers which is a faith builder in and of itself!

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My family eats 100% different from the way we did at this time last year. What we eat (or don't) is radically different. This was not by choice, but in hindsight and presently I am grateful for the change. It has been a very long, hard journey (really that started almost three years ago) and there were many days when I didn't want to eat this so different. It can be inconvenient, time consuming, expensive, frustrating and require a lot of self-control. However, rewarding times in our life are never easy. They are always hard. We have seen major rewards from this change of eating an organic diet without grains, legumes, dairy, processed foods and refined sugar. I always eat full Paleo (and started on Intro Gaps early January) and my boys almost always eat Paleo and occasionally have Gluten free items (which include GF grains.) My husband eats Paleo except at various social times. The rewards have been major weight loss, lower blood pressure (in a family history of high blood pressure), great cholesterol labs, spinal inflammation in my husbands back is gone, healing in myself so that I can function daily with a above average energy level most days, & a lot less sicknesses from flu's and colds in our house. These things have made it all worth it. The rewards far outweigh the hardships and inconveniences.

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Daily time spent in God's word (The Bible) is vital to my life. This year I have developed a deep hunger and thirst for The Word and for God. I desire to know Him better, to learn from Him, to learn about Him, to trust in Him, to follow Him and to wait in Him and on Him. My desire has deepened - dark valleys do that. The valleys of the past 6 years have been dark, lonely (at times) and depressing but over time, through refinement by God, I desire to earnestly seek Him. I certainly fail still at times but my heart has started to become molded and crafted by His hands. This will take a lifetime and is painful but necessary. Through seeking Him daily, by spending uninterrupted time in His word and praying, I have deepened my relationship and understanding of my best friend- My Lord Jesus.

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I learned (once again) not to put anyone pedestal. Family, friends, celebrities, anyone that is a h.u.m.a.n. If we do this, we will always be let down. Always disappointed. We are human. Fallible humans. Not one is better than another. Acts 10:34 says God is not a respecter of persons. Status or worldly success or talents don't matter to Him. Galatians 3:28 says- There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. In other words, we are all equal in God's eyes. God created us equal and sees us that way so why should we hold up and create various "levels" for the human race?

It is not wrong to look up to someone or admire someone but know they are fallible and check your heart as to where you place them in your life. The only person infallible, trustworthy, worthy to be idolized and placed "above" is Jesus. Live for Him. Let Him be what motivates and guides you - not h.u.m.a.n.s.

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Don't miss relationship and special moments because of being sucked into a screen. Email, Facebook, blogs, pinterest, surfing the net and time spent with technology which is always ALL around us can be a HUGE distraction and opportunity killer. Balance must be found. Our families lives can fly by (unnoticed) while we are enveloped in technology. Relationship becomes void. Actual time spent is priceless and where relationships are built. Virtual time is so empty and ultimately SO lonely.

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Following mainstream societal ways can be a big detriment to our well being (in many ways, but I will be focusing on health here.) Following God's path as opposed to the worlds is what God calls us to do. That means we have to be different. Romans 12:2 says - And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

If I followed my full Western Medicine MD Doctor and her advice (or lack thereof) I would be dead this year. Literally. Either that, or I would be on ten different drugs that would be a mask to the cause of my health issues. These drugs would eventually give me other symptoms that if they didn't kill me then, they would later. A slow death. A life of unnecessary suffering. God did not make our bodies to be pumped full of daily drugs, chemicals and pharmaceuticals. God made our bodies to heal naturally with the good things He has created and given us. So how do we not "conform?" We ask God for direction. Just because it is easy to go to the doctor and get a pill doesn't mean it is the right thing to do. Just because we can call up a friend for advice and it is easy doesn' tmean that is what God wants us to follow. Ask God what His will is for your life, for your health? Ask Him in what direction you should go to feel better? He will make it clear. If I didn't do this I would never have found GAPS. This is what God used to get me on the path to life and vitality rather than a life of merely surviving and going from one ignorant, greedy doctor to the next all the while medical bills piling up higher and higher. (Sorry if you are a doctor but this is my personal experience.) I do have two doctors (who are investigative and functional medicine doctors) that I highly respect and do help out. Anyway, follow God's ways rather than what society or mainstream media or your friends say to do. Pray, Pray, Pray. God has the ultimate wisdom and knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our past, present AND future. What better person is there to seek wisdom from? Please don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that since I use natural healing I am more holy or "better." I am merely saying don't just do something or follow a certain way because someone else is. Our actions in our lives should reflect the beauty of the Lord and His good and perfect will for our individual lives. Seek. HIM. Daily. That is what it means to be "different."

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Memorizing Scripture and storing it in our hearts (especially as parents raising children) is imperative. There are so many reasons that memorizing scripture is important. This is how the Holy Spirit can speak to us. Since the Word is truth we can speak truth to our children when needed like in times of discipline or encouragement. We can share the Truth with others. We can help bring unbelievers to the sweet Grace of God. (Hebrews 4:12) The Word is active, it is sharper than any double edged sword. It pierces our hearts. When we store up the scriptures in our hearts, it challenges, convicts, encourages us and give us hope. What if someday we don't have the luxury of having a bible? What verses will you have stored up in your heart?

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This last one is the deepest reflection of them all! Always, always, always have bacon and bacon grease on hand! They are the building blocks of life. They are joy. They are love. They are tasty. Bacon makes everything better!

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Here are four books that changed my perspective this year and I wholeheartedly recommend to you to read:

This book is written by a former shepherd named Phillip Keller. He has an amazing, eye-opening look at the relationship between a sheep an their shepherd and how it parallels our relationship with Christ (since we are His sheep.) He walks you through Psalm 23 in ways that I have never even understood or considered before. It is a small book and relatively quick read but there are many places you will want to stop and ponder and think on the the thoughts and insights he shares.

This book is written by Phillip Keller as well and is an even smaller book than the first. I literally read it in a few hours. Phillip talks about his relationship in training this wretched outcast of a dog to be an amazing sheepdog. He parallels the training and discipline Christ gives us in our lives and the refinement it brings as well as the discovery of what our true purpose is here on earth. When my oldest gets a little older it is a book we will be reading together. It truly helps the reader to see their relationship with Christ in a different light, through different glasses - through the lens of love.

We read this book by Sam Wellman together as a family this year. It was a life changer for me. I literally found myself thinking about Corrie's life and her faith for weeks and months after we finished reading the book. Corrie's faith in the worst possible conditions of World War II Nazi concentration camps is astounding. You will learn about her family growing up, her sister Betsy who is also an amazing hero of faith, and their victories and trials in their walk with the Lord. Once you have finished the book, I recommend watching the movie The Hiding Place. In the movie you actually get to see her in real life and hear her faithful words. Don't watch the movie first though! The book has way more detail. Corrie's understanding of the Lord will challenge you and at times bring you to your knees. Her endurance and courage are incredible. She is certainly someone to admire and glean from.

This last book by Pam Forster is really more of a devotional or a checklist. It is only about 20 pages long. It is meant to be a continual resource to come too and get back on track with the biblical and Godly way of parenting. There are six areas of focus: Love, Prayer, Instruction, Protection, Provision, and Example. In each section there is a bible verse describing the topic, and a checklist of questions followed by verses to evaluate how you are doing in this area of parenting.  I took a verse each day and read it in the Bible in context, journaled about it and wrote my thoughts and convictions on it. It was a very fruitful time. It is a book I have come back to time and time again for the gentle reminders through scripture of my calling and the Biblical guidance of "how-to" when it comes to my ministry as a parent.

I pray you have a blessed new year and that you might be able to think back on your year personally and reflect on the triumphs, valleys, victories and challenges that came along!  Cheers is too many more reflections to come for the next 365 days!

~Blessings~

90 Day GAPS Summary: A Piece To the Puzzle (Part three of three)

This is the third post in my three part series on my GAPS journey.  If you would like to read post one about what my GAPS day looks like, click here.  If you would like to read post two about what symptoms and issues I used to have and how I have healed after 90 days click here.

In this post I will address a few big pieces to my puzzle, my Hypothyroidism, Hashimotos Thyroiditis and getting enough sleep and how they affect my progress in healing.

I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and Hashimotos almost 7 years ago. Having the autoimmune condition Hashimotos has negatively affected my health for a number of years.  It didn't have to be this way but I was deceived into thinking it was nothing to be dealt with and that the thyroid hormone T4 could make it all better. It is just "no big deal," as my old Endocrinologist used to say.  That was SO far from the truth.

Fast forward to the present. I now know that Hashi's is definitely something to be dealt with.  In fact, 80-90% of people with Hypothyroidism have Hashi's and don't know it.  That is crazy! It is crazy because treating Hashimotos Thyroiditis is different than just treating a Hypo-thyroid. Having a thyroid dysfunction impairs every other part of your body on a cellular level. That is because God designed our bodies to run synergistically.  All together.  Everybody works together as a team to make a working, functioning and thriving body.  When one part is off, other parts will be too.  If one part is off for a LONG time (in my case) all other parts get worse and worse along with the main dysfunction. This in turn can cause more infections, more autoimmune conditions and in my case leaky gut. 

It wasn't until recently that I learned that I could actually cause my Hashimotos Thyroiditis to go into remission and that my thyroid could actually heal itself through proper nutrition (whole, non-processed, unrefined foods, rest, and exercise.)  Wow!  This makes sense because God did design our bodies to heal themselves if in the proper balance.

What does all this have to do with GAPS you ask? Well, in my opinion, even though I wholeheartedly believe in GAPS and it's healing abilities there is more we have to address in healing our bodies than just a diet change - especially if you have an autoimmune disease.  Autoimmunity of any type stems from gut dysbiosis and bad pathogens and significant diet changes are a big percentage that can lead to healing but there are other factors to consider.

For instance, I am healing on GAPS but notice that when my thyroid hormones are off I can have some of the same symptoms I have when I am detoxing or have eaten a food I am sensitive too. It is a tangled web to figure out sometimes and that is when I am thankful for my faith in the Lord.  I can't figure it out all the time.

Here is an example: during the first quarter of this year I found out that my Reverse T3 was extremely high.  Have you ever been tested for that?  I can almost assume the answer is no.  Most conventional docs only test TSH.  That cannot, I repeat, CANNOT properly diagnose a thyroid problem OR Hashimotos.  In doing a little experiment with my Naturopath (once we found out about my high Reverse T3) we realized that part of my rashes were occurring because of the high level of this hormone!  I thought all along it was solely from food sensitivities.  Once we remedied the RT3 a big amount of my (rashy) inflammation subsided.  Once the RT3 was low again my TSH shot up though (we knew this could happen) and because of that my Hashimoto's antibodies also shot up.  This rise caused inflammation as well and has affected me in other areas (fatigue, extreme dry skin, hair loss, etc.)  As you can see thyroid balance is delicate.  It is tough to get the right medication dosage while healing through your diet.  The right medication AND right dosage can make all the difference in the world in how you feel though.  For me, maintaining a proper thyroid hormone balance ALONG with sticking to the GAPS diet is crucial in how I feel day in and day out.

I don't just take T4 (like I did for 6 years, making myself sicker unknowingly.)  I take T3 and T4 AND they are compounded. Compounded means that I get them specially made so that there are no dyes or fillers in them.  Did you know that commercial Synthroid has dyes in the tablets in all but one dosage? Yep, it's true. Dyes can affect your healing and health as well. Some of our medications also have gluten in them.  Gluten is very bad for someone who has Hashimotos Thyroiditis. (Notice I didn't call it Hashimotos "Disease?"  It can be healed therefore in my book it is NOT a disease.)

Thyroid is a enormous topic in and of itself and I don't intend to get too deep into the subject here. I just wanted to paint a picture for you that our health is multi-faceted.  Usually, we have to address many different areas of our lives for ultimate healing.  Right now as I heal my gut through the GAPS diet I also have to take thyroid medication (hopefully temporarily) and work closely with my doctor to maintain the proper hormone balance so that my hormones work synergistically with all other parts of my body.  I have to ensure balance so that the gut healing I am doing is not hindered by an imbalance in my thyroid hormones. Make sense?

For me the other facet is sleep.  I am a type A personality.  All or nothing.  Dive in with all I've got.  This can be a blessing and a curse.  I just don't do things half way.  So rest for me is something I am learning.  I like to be "doing," creating, thinking, and contributing.  Down time is new.  I notice that when this aspect of my life is off balance I also start feeling bad. When I stay up late and don't get enough sleep my lymph nodes in the back of my head get swollen and tender again (due to the wonderful Epstein Barr Virus I have that gave me Mono at the beginning of the year and my autoimmune issue.) When I get too little sleep my body starts getting so fatigued that I ache.  I get moody and irritable.  It affects my family and more.  Again, as long as I am addressing my gut health with GAPS, I need to be sure to be getting adequate sleep (9-10 hours a night for someone with an autoimmune disease) otherwise I am hindering the healing that is possible. 

Did you know that between 10pm-4am is when our body does the most clean-up and repair?  It is when we are rested enough (or we should be) that the cells in our bodies start the detox process and fix all the damage so that we can get up and function the next day.  If we don't give our bodies ample time for this restoration then we impede the healing process and we keep feeling worse and worse.  It is another piece to the puzzle. 

This is specifically my puzzle.  Everybodies puzzle pieces are different. It does take a lot of trial and error to figure out how our individual bodies work the best and what we need but I will tell you from personal experience that it is well worth it to commit to figuring it out.  Feeling better and thriving in life is much better than just surviving (as I was doing for quite some time.) It also takes a lot of patience.  The waiting game with labs, finding the right doctor, challenging sensitive foods are all what require this virtue of patience.  For me it has taken great faith in My Lord Jesus to heal me.  I could not be going through this without him as my refuge because there are tough times and discouraging times. He comforts me and is my Shepherd who guides me where I need to go.

I hope I have helped you to understand that we need to address our health issues from many levels.  This is where "Functional and Integrative Medicine" comes in.  This kind of medical practice addresses your WHOLE body as well as your WHOLE health history, not just ONE symptom with a quick pill fix. Our bodies are intricately designed and need a holistic approach to heal. Our puzzles are each unique because we are all specially made and different.

In a future post I will address one other piece to the puzzle and that is what we put ON our bodies.  Make-up, lotions, soaps, shampoos and more. It can affect our healing as well.

For those of you with Hypothyroidism and/or Hashimoto's Thyroiditis I wanted to leave you with some incredible websites that address this topic (way better than I ever could.)  Please see below for links.  For those of you on GAPS or with any health issues that you think I may be able to help with please feel free to comment with any questions or concerns and I hope I can address your needs.

Excellent links for learning about Hashimotos and Hypothyroidism:

Hope for Hashimotos I HIGHLY recommend reading Dr. Haskell's ebook it was THE BEST Thyroid book that I have ever read. It educated me SO  much. I still refer to it to this day.

8 Series audio about Hypothyroidism and Hashimotos A great way to educate yourself on Hashi's by Dr. Alexander Haskell. There are also several other videos on you tube with him as the educator.  Just search his name.

The Paleo Mom This site is a wealth of info. Literally you could read it for hours  If you click on the link search "thyroid," "Hashimotos," or "Autoimmunity" and you will find some amazing facts and information from this Ph.D stay at home mom. She has a book coming out in October 2013 that I literally cannot wait for!  It will address autoimmune conditions as well as eating the Autoimmune Paleo way (AIP.)

Chris Kresser He uses many facts as well as the latest research to help guide you through Hypothyroidism and Hashi's.  I highly recommend spending some time reading the posts on this site.

Dr. Datis Kharrazian Dr. K. wrote an excellent book called Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms? When My Lab Tests are Normal You can search around his site and learn a lot as well.  He is a very knowledgeable doctor in this arena. You can also find a practitioner on his site (for your area) that is well versed in thyroid conditions.

Stop Thyroid Madness This site addresses a lot of the commonly occuring problems with thyroid that aren't addressed by conventional doctors and has recommend lab work that you need to have if you have a thyroid condition. This is also a site worth spending some time on.

Hashimotos 411 There are so many resources on this website from book recommendations to how to avoid gluten, what supplements to take and more. Please take time to check it out! There are also forums on this site that allow you to chat with other people going through a similar trial.

I hope somehow you are encouraged or find some help through this post.  Please remember that our bodies literally are puzzles and all the pieces fit intricately together. Through much research, trial and error, and support you can and will get better and could potentially heal your thyroid!

~Blessings~

Please note - I am not a medical doctor.  What I say on this blog is based on my own research along with my own personal experiences.  I assume no liability and my advice, ideas or suggestions should not replace those of your own practitioner.

By Grace

(A Thankful Thursday Post)

Since I have moved into this house there was a special place that I wanted to put up some wall words that said "By Grace." It took me a while to get them up because I had to have them custom made. Most vinyl wall word companies don't just have this saying.  I finally found a place that did my words for me for a reasonable price.  Yay!  So, after a little over a year I get to walk into my house each day (or down my stairs) and see the words, "By Grace."  It is a good reminder because I would not have the life I have now if it were not for God's Grace on me.

~Grace= favor or goodwill, a manifestation of favor, especially by a superior, mercy; clemency; pardon~
 
By Grace I have my salvation

By Grace I live in this state

By Grace I have a complete family

By Grace I have two healthy, sweet boys
 
By Grace I have family who loves and supports me

By Grace I get to read my Bible and sing worship without fear

By Grace my heater works

By Grace we own our home

By Grace I have warm clothes

By Grace I have a comfortable bed

By Grace I am slowly healing and finding answers

By Grace I can homeschool my children and parent them by my values

By Grace I can see

By Grace I can walk and use my hands

By Grace I can taste and enjoy food

The list could literally go on and on because everything in my life is only because God gives me His Grace.  Grace that I don't deserve.

Let's not take for granted the Grace our Lord so freely gives us and take some time to reflect on the graces your have in your life this season. I guarantee if you sit down to think about it your list will be long too.

Ephesians 2:8-9
⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast.

~Blessings~

The Solid Rock

During the election result period last night I was praying to the Lord.  During my prayers he reminded me of one of my favorite hymns.  It is called Solid Rock. God put the refrain in my head.... "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.  All other ground is sinking sand." It was a good reminder to me that God IS the solid rock above all the elections and politics, above all of the natural disasters, above all the health problems and sadness.  HE is what we should be leaning on and putting our hope in because a solid rock (God and Jesus) doesn't sway or break down. HE does not sink, He is immovable.  I really needed that because in the times we live in I can have a lot of fears.  Fears for me personally, my kiddos and my grandkids to come (Lord willing.)  God doesn't give us a spirit of fear but of sound mind.  We lean on Him and we can have that.  We trust in him and we can have that.  Praise Him our Solid Rock!  This was just the peace I needed.

This hymn was written in 1824 by Edward Mote who was a carpenter and then went on to be a pastor at a Baptist Church until his early death in 1873 due to health problems.  He lived out his faith - in his last days he said, " I think I am going to heaven; yes, I am nearing port.  The truths I have been preaching, I am now living upon and they'll do very well to die upon, Ah! The precious blood." (part of the story rephrased from Then Sings my Soul: 150 of the worlds greatest hymn stories)

Here are the lyrics to the hymn and you can click on the link to hear it...

The Solid Rock
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

Refrain

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Refrain

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain

Here is a verse that he wrote that is often left out of most hymnals today:
I trust his righteous character
His council, promise and His power;
His honor and His Name's at stake
To save me from the burning lake;
On Christ ,the solick Rock, I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

1 Corinthians 3:11
For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Let's continue to put our hope in our redeemer, our Lord Jesus Christ.

~Blessings~

2 years ago...

It was two years ago yesterday that Steve had back surgery.  He had a micro lumbar discectomy. I have written several times on my blog about the process and his recovery.  You can look under my blog labels and looks under "Herniated Disc Surgery" to see them if you are interested. 

I thought that I would write about it now to give an update of how he is doing since his surgery.

Steve starting having back pain a good five years before he had his surgery.  He hoped that his back would heal itself and just get better.  He didn't realize that he had multiple herniated discs as well as some arthritis in his lower back and neck.  Needless to say, his pain got worse through the years.  His sciatic nerve would get pinched by the herniated disc and immobilize him. He tried epidural shots, pain medication, and cortisone and eventually nothing was helping the pain. It would mask it temporarily. He spent many years in pain and he looks back now and wishes (although he agrees God's timing is perfect) that he would have had surgery earlier.

We began our search for a surgeon about 4 months before the actual surgery. Of course we had to have the necessary MRI's done in order to properly diagnose him and know exactly where the worst bulge was coming from as well as multiple professional opinions on what should be done. It turned out that he had an 8MM bulge in his L4/L5 spine area. In order for his pain to go away that disc needed to be fixed because that was what was causing the major pain.

We settled on a very well known Neurosurgeon (who has actually been written about and on TV for his miraculous surgeries he has done. We didn't know this when we chose him though.)  Before we settled on him we had seen an Orthopedic surgeon and we were warned that the solution that kind of surgeon would give would be to have a spinal fusion done. That surgeon did recommend a fusion. We did a bunch of research on that and prayed and decided that was NOT the way to go.  The problems down the road with a fusion could be awful.  If you are in a similar situation now please consult an Orthopedic Surgeon AND a Neurosurgeon.  They go about the "fix" very differently.

We felt peace about choosing the Neurosurgeon.  We prayed a lot about the actual surgery since there are risks. On the day of the surgery everything went as planned and the bulge in his disc was "cut off" and the nerve was placed back in it's proper place. You can read about the week after surgery at the links on my blog.

It took Steve about 3 months to get fully back to life.  He was back to (light duty) work within a month of the surgery which was a praise.  He made baby steps all along the way in healing.  The muscles all had to heal and the inflammation had to go down. Once that did his sciatic pain went away.

Now, two years later, he has a full life.  We find ourselves reminded of all the things he can do that he couldn't do before.  Wrestle with his boys, mountain bike, lift weights, lift heavier things (not too heavy though) and more - all without pain.  He will always have to be careful of picking something TOO heavy up, and twisting his torso too much. In the mornings he is usually a little stiff in his back and when he has long days on his feet his back aches a little.  Other than that he has no pain and the sciatica is gone.  He has a quality of life that we certainly don't take for granted.  We thank God for leading us to a top neurosurgeon who was very skilled and meticulous with a great bedside manner. We thank God for healing Steve! We do pray that the other bulges he has in his spine and arthritis stay pain free as they are now - Lord willing! 

While I was typing this an old hymn came on Pandora.  I thought it fit perfectly what I was typing about and it is one of my favorites.  Click on the link below to hear it. (I have been SO blessed today listening to sweet old hymns while doing my work. I absolutely love them.)

To God Be the Glory

To God be the glory, great things he hath done!
So loved he the world that he gave us his Son,
who yielded his life an atonement for sin,
and opened the lifegate that all may go in.

Refrain:
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
let the earth hear his voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father thru Jesus the Son,
and give him the glory, great things he hath done!

2. O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
to every believer the promise of God;
the vilest offender who truly believes,
that moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

(Refrain)

3. Great things he hath taught us, great things he hath done,
and great our rejoicing thru Jesus the Son;
but purer, and higher, and greater will be
our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.

(Refrain)

Joy

It brings me joy that I get to be at home with my little guys everyday and have a morning Bible study with them. We have been studying horses in our Konos Unit for Obedience and today's Bible lesson was in Psalm 32. Corbin read it to us and it really convicted me and brought me joy because my (our) sins are covered by the blood of Jesus!

Psalm 32

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.

I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.

For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the Lord, mercy shall compass him about. Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.

More often than not when I am doing Bible study with the kids it ministers to me too.  The Word is powerful.  It is a great way to start our morning.

~Blessings~

Spirit of the Living God

The beginning of March has started off a bit rumbly. Encouragement is in effect (affect - I never know which one to use - even when I have read the rules....)

I was praying today and God gave me a song from a long time ago. I remember singing this at Christian Summer camps or winter camps when I was a little girl.  It was just what I needed today.  Thank you Lord.

Spirit of the Living God
Spirit of the Living God
Fall fresh on me
Spirit of the Living God
Fall Fresh on Me
Melt Me
Mold Me
Fill Me
Use Me
Spirit of the Living God
Fall fresh on me

I am in the "melting" process!  or maybe the "Molding" or both.

Here is the link if you want to listen to it: Spirit of the Living God 

~Blessings~

A Bed of Roses

Do you ever read other peoples blogs or facebook posts and think, "Gosh they have it all together" or "they have such a fun life everyday" or maybe you even think,  "She is such a perfect mom, I wish I was like her or my life was like that!"


I know, I know you have never thought that! Well neither have I!


That's the post for today have a good night.


Ya right!


Not that you would look at my blog or facebook posts and think any of the above but I certainly have thought those things about other people. Sometimes about people I don't even know!  I only know them through the "blogosphere." Reality is (and I know this already but need to reinforce it to myself tonight) that no one has a perfect life.  We all have down days or seasons.  We all have our failures and weaknesses.  While I do think that reading about the latest craft or movie you saw is awesome and should have a big part in a blog, I also think that a blog can be a great place to reflect and encourage others.

Tonight's post will be a bit reflective.  I am sure you picked that up already. 

Today was one of those days.  We have been sick for some days now.  Head colds, not too bad but enough to be a bother.  Functioning is a double duty when you aren't feeling 100%.  I have managed (thanks a lot in part to the help from my husband!) Anyway, today was the kind of day that I have every once in a while where I don't feel good enough.  This time it was not because I was comparing myself (although I have had those times too,) but because the enemy was attacking me and making me feel burdened and overwhelmed with homeschool. (Don't click away if you don't homeschool - this can apply to you at work, parenting and more!) 


There are certain subjects through my own public schooling that I could not stand!  Well now I am choosing to teach them to my own children. Granted my kids are in a different environment then I had but the subject is similar. 

In teaching a certain subject today I felt less than.  I felt like a failure.  Doomed - "I have to teach this how many more years yet I struggle at a first grade level!"  All these horrible thoughts coming through my head.

So after all those thoughts I got down in front of my kids on my knees and started praying for help and that those thoughts would be taken captive.

Ha - ya, I wish I had done that. I am still being pruned and growing.  Someday I will choose the right path.

No what I really did is blow up.  I got frustrated with myself, my kids, my husband and spoke harshly and regretted every moment of it.  I did apologize later (thankfully I did something right) though.

Here is what God taught me (or reminded me of) throughout the rest of the day when I thought of what happened:

1.) Romans 3:10 There is none righteous no, not one...

I am not good enough.  I never will be.
I will never be a good enough teacher, mom, wife, etc.

Never good enough on my own that is....

2.) 1 Corinthians 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.
By God's grace I wake up each day.  By His grace I teach everyday (or almost everyday.) With God I function and do the duties I have been called to do each day.

3.) Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.  I don't do these things because I AM good enough or because I can, I do them because God allows me to do them. It will never be impossible to teach my kiddos WITH God.  In my own strength - I will fail. It will be impossible.

4.) Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Because God gives me His grace so I must give it to others (like my children.) In my tone, my actions and all of me I pray it will be with grace.  God's grace.

5.) On a practical level something that God reminded me of in my frustration is that I need to take homeschooling one day at a time.  When I feel lost or frustrated because I don't get it and therefore can't teach it to my child, I first need to call upon the Lord through prayer.  I really DO need to kneel (not to put on a show) but to sincerely call out to the ONE who gives me grace.  Secondly, I need to take it one day at a time.  When the thoughts start swirling, "how am I going to teach this for 11 more years?" "I am doomed!" "My child is not going to know what he needs to know!" and on and on.  I need to take it one day at a time and trust God is in control.

God will give me the right curriculum and help for what I don't know or understand. God knows each of my days and my kids days.  I can trust in Him for their education.  Really the MOST important thing is my children's relationship with the Lord and their character.  Academics has it's place but their faith and character come first. I need to model what they need to learn.  God's Grace will allow me to do that.  God's grace will allow me to teach my children how they need to be taught.

I pray you find encouragement tonight (or whenever you read this post.)  Nobodies life is perfect.  You have a glimpse into my imperfections.  I pray that you will allow your imperfections to cause you to run quickly to the refuge of the Lord Most High! He cares and wants to do a mighty work in you.

~Blessings from an imperfect human~

Melancholy

I realize that this blog is Feasting on JOY there should not be a blog post titled "Melancholy" but hey - just keepin' it real.  Actually my current state is not so bad I just have waves of feeling melancholy.  Can I tell you why?  Oh good.  I am so glad you would like to know why.

First let me tell you the definition of Melancholy:

mel·an·chol·y   /ˈmɛlənˌkɒli/ Show Spelled [mel-uhn-kol-ee] Show IPA noun, plural -chol·ies, adjective

noun
1. a gloomy state of mind, especially when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3. Archaic .
a. the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b. black bile.
adjective
4. affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.
5. causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.
6. soberly thoughtful; pensive.

I fit mostly 3 a. 

Just KIDDING! Yuck!  I fit mostly in number 2 and 6 maybe a little of 5 too.  Not depressed or anything.  No definitely not.  There is SO much to be thankful for and the season of celebrating Christ's birth is very joyful.

The reason I am melancholy is that 11 of my family members have uprooted from the state they are native too and moved to another state.  That includes my nuclear family. We are almost all together now.  This is a really good thing. 

So you say, "Why is that making you melancholy?"  Well the reason is that the last people to move are my parents. I cannot wait to see them but you see in order to come here that had to sell their home. The home in which I grew up in. Well actually the rebuilt home that I grew up in.  The home that my parents both really love. They lived in it for 25 years and I lived in it for 22.  There were a lot of memories in this home to let go of. Another hard part to let go of is that this is the house that my Dad actually built - with his own two hands.  It is amazing! It is gorgeous. It is his dream home (well almost - if it was on some acreage.)  He wished he could have just picked up his house and moved it here to a big plot of land. Unfortunately he can't.

I have a hard time thinking of someone else, some other family living in our house.  My parents are at peace with it though.  They feel so strongly about getting out of the state that it is worth the sacrifice to them.  I am so thankful that they are willing to do that to be near us.

I will miss my childhood home terribly. I am counting down the days until it wont be a part of our lives anymore. I do have to put it into perspective though - a Godly perspective that is.  It is just a material possession (not even mine for that matter.)  My understanding of possessions changed after the fire.  It will all turn to ashes - or dust in the end.  It has no eternal value.  I know.

When this feeling comes up I always have certain verses that keep popping into my head, which I am convinced the Holy Spirit is giving me. They are in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  Can I write them for you?  They really help in seasons of change.  We have to remember that there is a time and a season for everything.  God's plan is perfect. He knows what he is doing.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
(The bold are times I have personally experienced in my life.)

Goodbyes are hard.  I have despised them all my life.  Whether it is saying a goodbye to a person, place or thing it has always been terrible in my book.  However, with the hope of the Lord and my trust in his sovereignty I can lean on these verses above.  They comfort me. We are in a time of uprooting and building here and even though I am melancholy I am excited for the season to come and for that matter, in my own personal (nuclear family) the season that is here.  God IS good ~ ALL the time!

Are you going through a tough change or a season that is a bit uncomfortable?  Take notice, in each verse above there is a positive and a negative or an opposite.  If your in a hard spot be comforted that the positive side or opposite is soon to come.  All in God's perfect timing.

~Blessings in your perfect season of life ~

A Psalm of Thanksgiving

Being that is is the week of Thanksgiving and it has been a "Thankful" month all month around our house, I thought I would encourage you with a Psalm of Thanksgiving today.  Our Pastor taught on this chapter in church on Sunday and it was very encouraging to me.

Psalm 100
1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. 2 Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. 3 Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. 4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. 5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

I pray that you are reflecting on all there is to be thankful for in this season.  It may be a hard time for you right now (sometimes holidays are tough) but there is always something to thank our good Lord about.  Even in the valleys we can look up and see His precious face looking down upon us comforting us.

Rocks, sand and water

I went to a homeschool Moms encouragement night the other night and was very inspired.  There was an analogy given by the lady speaking who's name was Linda. I had to share it with you because it really encouraged me and made me think.

You may have done that experiment before where you have a glass jar, big rocks, small rocks, sand and water.  In the experiment you need to put the items in the jar in the right order or you will not be able to obtain maximum capacity.  In other words, you must put the big rocks first, then the little rocks. After that you can put sand which fills in almost all of the rest of the space.  Once the sand is in you put in the water and of course it absorbs into the sand.  If you put the sand in first can you fit the big rocks? No.  What about if you put in the little rocks, can you still fit the little rocks? No.  

I personally had never done the experiment before but had heard about it and got the idea.  What I loved about the analogy that Linda gave was that she applied this to our lives....

The big rocks in our lives may represent personal quiet time, school (if you are a homeschool mom), providing a nutritious meal for your family, etc.  These are things that are the "must do's" in your day.  The things that you would be upset if you didn't have a part of your day.

The little rocks in our lives may represent extra housework, email, etc. Things that you would like to fit in but if they can't fit you would be OK.

The sand could represent coffee with a friend or a special lunch out.  Maybe even sports or extra-curricular activities. These would be something fun but not a necessity on a regular basis.

The water could represent facebook, surfing the net, blogging, etc. These things can be robbers of your time but can enrich your life.

Linda asked us to go home and write down exactly what our big rocks, little rocks, sand and water would be represented by. The above does not represent my list but are some of Linda's examples. Although I would include some of these in my own list.   Linda said that when we start our day we want to make sure we put in our big rocks first.  In the past I have been known to put sand in first (facebook) or little rocks (email) and then get frustrated that I could fit a big rock in (bible study.)  It is so easy to get unbalanced but when we think about our days with the picture of this glass jar in mind it really can put it into perspective.

I pray this encourages you to choose your big rocks and put them in your jar first.

Blessings!

A quote from Corbin

I was getting ready to hop in the shower the other morning and Corbin ran out of my room with enthusiasm saying, "Mommy I am going to write you a quote!" I said, "OK ,who is the quote from?"  He looked at me like I was from outer space and said "Me!" "Wonderful, I can't wait to read it." I said as I went into the bathroom.

So he must have gone to the school room and got a white piece of paper and wrote out his quote.  When I finished getting ready he told me the quote was waiting for me on the dresser.
This is what it said:

We are like a plant on windy days. But God is like the grass on days that are windy he is still. Corbin

This was totally unexpected.  I expected it to be about his stuffed animals or a game he was playing.  I did see him earlier that morning looking out the window for a longer period of time.  Now I know what he was noticing.  It melts my heart to know that a 5 1/2 year old has thoughts like this.  That they can be about God and who he is.  I will treasure this forever. I am encouraged to keep teaching Corbin about who God is and His character as well as giving him a Godly worldview. Our children are never too young to learn this. 

Clearly the Holy Spirit was at work in this boys heart that morning.  Praise God!

Spoken to

So who says homeschool is learning only for the student?  Not me.  Actually I really never thought that.  I know that homeschooling is not only an educational process for both student and teacher (parent and child) but a pruning process where the Lord draws out the dirt and refines us by getting rid of it.  This happens quite often with both Corbin and I.  If it didn't happen often I would be concerned.  After all, we are humans, not perfect and in great need of purification.

The other day I was trying to get all of our morning chores done so that we could start school.  It wasn't going quite as I had planned but we were getting closer and closer to being done and starting school (at around 10:30am).  Honestly, a lot of mornings don't go the way I plan or hope but I have learned to take it with a grain of salt.  Most days I can go with the flow there.  Even on this day I was doing fine.

Then...
Cody started having meltdown.  He ended up falling and banging his head on my bedside table. He got a bleeding wound with a big goose egg on his forehead. The worst fall he has ever had.  He started sobbing and I was feeling horrible and panicked because he might have really hurt himself.  Corbin immediately wanted to console his brother which was so sweet.  He loves him so much.  When Corbin consoles though he can smother a bit and frustrate Cody and then I can't see Cody to help him. I asked him politely to get back.  No really, I WISH I did that. Instead I told him "Go!"  I immediately felt convicted.  In my mind I thought, "I will deal with that later."

Back to tending to Cody, I realized that I needed to put ice on his head.  I asked Corbin to go get a washcloth for me and he struggled with the request.  Partly because of how I said it and partly because he wasn't listening very well.  We are working on this.  He came back after about thirty seconds with no washcloth.  Cody is still sobbing and I started getting ticked.  At this point I raised my voice to a level that was totally unnecessary but it felt good.  I mean my goodness I was giving into my fleshly side.  That usually feels good - temporarily.  Then as soon as I closed my (detestable) mouth I felt convicted.  I thought "I will deal with that later."  Back to tending to Cody.

After a few more minutes things got back under control but the damage had been done.  Corbin was peeking around the corner from another room. 

Just typing this makes me sad.  I failed.  I hurt someone I love so much.  We all do it at one point or another.  This scenario has happened to any mom out there at one point or another.  I am not saying this to comfort myself or rationalize my behavior but to state how normal this is. The chaos of certain moments and the lack of control.  It happens.

The reason I am being so candid is because shortly after these moments I was spoken to.

For the record - before we started school I did talk to Corbin about my behavior and my failure and apologized asking for his forgiveness.  We then sat down to do school and prayed together and in front of him I openly confessed my sin to the Lord and asked Him for forgiveness.  After all, this is what I expect of Corbin when he sins and makes mistakes so it was a perfect opportunity to show that example.

Then....
we started phonics and this was the phonics card we were studying that day:

C.O.N.V.I.C.T.I.O.N

Do you see that verse? The Lord picks the perfect times to speak to us through is word.  Through this verse (Psalm 141:3) I was able to get a bit further into depth about what had happened but more importantly what I need to ask of the Lord.  We also related it to him in times that he may let his tongue get out of control.  It was all a teachable moment for myself and for him.

This is what I mean when I say "Life is school."

I am not proud of my behavior.  It humbles me to know how much I need a savior.  It makes me grateful to know that I serve a loving, forgiving and merciful God. I am thankful that I was spoken to by my heavenly father who wanted to teach me through is word.  Praise Jesus!

Starting off with a bang

This new year started off with a bang.  Actually I really have to make myself think that it is a new year. It doesn't feel like a new year yet.  You know, the kind you celebrate and make goals for.  The kind you have plans for and look forward too. The kind you are excited about. 

I have been dealing with some really tough things to the point where I am in survival mode on most days.  One of the things that happened literally on the first day of this year was that my son got sick.  Sick with something that still is yet to be diagnosed. Symptoms like sandpaper rash, strawberry tongue, some random fevers, lack of appetite, etc...  We have looked into many possibilities and he has gone through some horrible testing all of which have come back negative. It has been very discouraging and at times I feel very hopeless in this and other areas of my life. Some days it feels like this survival mode will never cease - BUT then there are some glimmers of light.  Just enough to help me move to the next hour or next day. 

The good news right now now is that there are some signs of improvement in Corbin to which I am extremely thankful for. Tongue is not as red, no fever today, fingers are peeling (a symptom of what could be the end of the sickness.)  A sign of hope in him.  It helps me get up in the morning. 

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I will spare the details of all facets of my life and will focus on what this blog is about. Joy.  I have to confess it is tempting to just complain here and be sad for myself and stay stagnant in my hopelessness but that is not what the Lord wants and I am sure that is not what you want to read. 

We have a relationship with Jesus in which we should never feel hopeless.  I believe this but, being human, I still struggle.  Guess what - in my feelings, I have a choice.  A choice to move far away from the Lord or cling to him with my whole being.  Thankfully I choose the latter. In my hanging on HE has been speaking to me through His word.  HE truly is my refuge.

Psalm 31:19
How great is your goodness , which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.

One of my favorites:
Psalm 34: 17-18
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
This verse gives me H.O.P.E

Isaiah 40: 31
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I want to be delivered I want to soar on wings like eagles.  Wow, the feeling that would be!  I want to run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint.  I am so thankful that I serve a good god who is close to the brokenhearted and is mighty to save. What a blessing and oh, the promises I can hold onto when I feel that sense of hopelessness.

I will leave you with a favorite song of mine: Mighty to Save. I like this particular one by Micheal W. Smith.  Worship music for me helps me to take my mind off myself and put my mind on the Lord.  After listening or singing to a worship song I have a sense of renewed strength. Listen to this song if you have time and take heart - we can cling to the Lord in times of trouble or hopelessness or feeling empty.  He truly is mighty to save and will never leave us.   

Flexibility

Wow, where has the time gone?  I had big plans for blogging this month.  I had big plans for the Christmas season and for the kids and all the fun Christmas things to do.  But..... those were MY plans.  God didn't have the same plans as I did. He allowed my family to get terribly sick for three weeks.  Progressively getting worse and worse until just a few days ago it got better.  We still have a few people suffering here but just in a minor way. 

First our sickness started with head colds.  I almost got that but with a lot of vitamin C, Teavana Rooibos tea, and abstaining from sugar I did not get it.  My parents and Corbin got that.  Then my husband brought the stomach flu home.  It was such a wonderful gift!  Oh man, it struck our whole family is succession.  Obviously I wont go into details here but it was the WORST stomach flu I have ever had in my entire life.  My poor little Cody ended up in the emergency room trying to get an IV.  He got poked 4 times and the nurses couldn't find his veins, because he was so dehydrated.  I think some of it was skill related as well.  My poor little guy, it was torture.  I felt so bad for him.  He has finally been able to keep food down for three days now.  Corbin was a trooper but it lasted until about 4 days ago for him.  It has been a very tough month but among all that has happened there are still many things to be thankful for.

Here are some of them:

• That our Lord and Savior was born 2000 years ago and we get to celebrate His birth at Christmas.
• We are getting healthier.
• God is at work in our lives - teaching me flexibility, giving us a victory in our marriage, teaching Corbin flexibility as well, planning and orchestrating every event that we experience, etc...I could go on and on.
• That we have a warm house, heat, hot water, food, and goodies to be made.
• The beautiful Christmas tree lit with twinkling lights that I get to sit and enjoy each night with a hot cup of tea. 
• That every time I open Gods word (The Bible) I read something that inspires me, ignites me, and/or challenges me.
• That we got to get out and go see a spectacular living nativity.
• For family.
• For friends.
• For health care providers and various medicines and technology.

The list could get longer and longer. 

This past two years God has worked in a big way in my life in teaching me flexibility.  I wish I could be a faster learner when it comes to this character quality because then it would not have taken two years but I am grateful that He wants to teach me.  You see, my world used to crash when something didn't go right or something didn't happen that I had planned but now, through all the teaching, I am able to roll with the punches much more than ever.  What is comes down to for me is that I trust that God is sovereign.  If something didn't happen it is because He didn't want it to.  If something didn't go my way, I am thankful because my way usually messes things up - He is in control, not me.  Yay!  You see that verse in the side bar of this blog?  The one that is "My life verse," this is a verse I hold on to because my way is not the best.  My plans are not the best.  My ideas are not always right.  More importantly, my feeling are not always right.  God's ways are way bigger and better than I could ever imagine.  Praise Him!

While it is hard to actually say that I am "thankful" for the sickness, I am thankful so stronger immunities, some down time during the busiest time of year, restored health and for God's perfect timing.  I am grateful that all of it is not happening this week.  Now we can enjoy Christmas week hopefully with restored health.

I hope to post a few goodies this week on the blog like homemade mounds bars, lemon bars, and muddy buddies.  Lord willing!

I pray you are having a Christ centered Christmas season!