Starting off with a bang

This new year started off with a bang.  Actually I really have to make myself think that it is a new year. It doesn't feel like a new year yet.  You know, the kind you celebrate and make goals for.  The kind you have plans for and look forward too. The kind you are excited about. 

I have been dealing with some really tough things to the point where I am in survival mode on most days.  One of the things that happened literally on the first day of this year was that my son got sick.  Sick with something that still is yet to be diagnosed. Symptoms like sandpaper rash, strawberry tongue, some random fevers, lack of appetite, etc...  We have looked into many possibilities and he has gone through some horrible testing all of which have come back negative. It has been very discouraging and at times I feel very hopeless in this and other areas of my life. Some days it feels like this survival mode will never cease - BUT then there are some glimmers of light.  Just enough to help me move to the next hour or next day. 

The good news right now now is that there are some signs of improvement in Corbin to which I am extremely thankful for. Tongue is not as red, no fever today, fingers are peeling (a symptom of what could be the end of the sickness.)  A sign of hope in him.  It helps me get up in the morning. 

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I will spare the details of all facets of my life and will focus on what this blog is about. Joy.  I have to confess it is tempting to just complain here and be sad for myself and stay stagnant in my hopelessness but that is not what the Lord wants and I am sure that is not what you want to read. 

We have a relationship with Jesus in which we should never feel hopeless.  I believe this but, being human, I still struggle.  Guess what - in my feelings, I have a choice.  A choice to move far away from the Lord or cling to him with my whole being.  Thankfully I choose the latter. In my hanging on HE has been speaking to me through His word.  HE truly is my refuge.

Psalm 31:19
How great is your goodness , which you have stored up for those who fear you, which you bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in you.

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.

One of my favorites:
Psalm 34: 17-18
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
This verse gives me H.O.P.E

Isaiah 40: 31
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I want to be delivered I want to soar on wings like eagles.  Wow, the feeling that would be!  I want to run and not grow weary and walk and not be faint.  I am so thankful that I serve a good god who is close to the brokenhearted and is mighty to save. What a blessing and oh, the promises I can hold onto when I feel that sense of hopelessness.

I will leave you with a favorite song of mine: Mighty to Save. I like this particular one by Micheal W. Smith.  Worship music for me helps me to take my mind off myself and put my mind on the Lord.  After listening or singing to a worship song I have a sense of renewed strength. Listen to this song if you have time and take heart - we can cling to the Lord in times of trouble or hopelessness or feeling empty.  He truly is mighty to save and will never leave us.