A Bed of Roses

Do you ever read other peoples blogs or facebook posts and think, "Gosh they have it all together" or "they have such a fun life everyday" or maybe you even think,  "She is such a perfect mom, I wish I was like her or my life was like that!"


I know, I know you have never thought that! Well neither have I!


That's the post for today have a good night.


Ya right!


Not that you would look at my blog or facebook posts and think any of the above but I certainly have thought those things about other people. Sometimes about people I don't even know!  I only know them through the "blogosphere." Reality is (and I know this already but need to reinforce it to myself tonight) that no one has a perfect life.  We all have down days or seasons.  We all have our failures and weaknesses.  While I do think that reading about the latest craft or movie you saw is awesome and should have a big part in a blog, I also think that a blog can be a great place to reflect and encourage others.

Tonight's post will be a bit reflective.  I am sure you picked that up already. 

Today was one of those days.  We have been sick for some days now.  Head colds, not too bad but enough to be a bother.  Functioning is a double duty when you aren't feeling 100%.  I have managed (thanks a lot in part to the help from my husband!) Anyway, today was the kind of day that I have every once in a while where I don't feel good enough.  This time it was not because I was comparing myself (although I have had those times too,) but because the enemy was attacking me and making me feel burdened and overwhelmed with homeschool. (Don't click away if you don't homeschool - this can apply to you at work, parenting and more!) 


There are certain subjects through my own public schooling that I could not stand!  Well now I am choosing to teach them to my own children. Granted my kids are in a different environment then I had but the subject is similar. 

In teaching a certain subject today I felt less than.  I felt like a failure.  Doomed - "I have to teach this how many more years yet I struggle at a first grade level!"  All these horrible thoughts coming through my head.

So after all those thoughts I got down in front of my kids on my knees and started praying for help and that those thoughts would be taken captive.

Ha - ya, I wish I had done that. I am still being pruned and growing.  Someday I will choose the right path.

No what I really did is blow up.  I got frustrated with myself, my kids, my husband and spoke harshly and regretted every moment of it.  I did apologize later (thankfully I did something right) though.

Here is what God taught me (or reminded me of) throughout the rest of the day when I thought of what happened:

1.) Romans 3:10 There is none righteous no, not one...

I am not good enough.  I never will be.
I will never be a good enough teacher, mom, wife, etc.

Never good enough on my own that is....

2.) 1 Corinthians 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.
By God's grace I wake up each day.  By His grace I teach everyday (or almost everyday.) With God I function and do the duties I have been called to do each day.

3.) Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible.  I don't do these things because I AM good enough or because I can, I do them because God allows me to do them. It will never be impossible to teach my kiddos WITH God.  In my own strength - I will fail. It will be impossible.

4.) Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
Because God gives me His grace so I must give it to others (like my children.) In my tone, my actions and all of me I pray it will be with grace.  God's grace.

5.) On a practical level something that God reminded me of in my frustration is that I need to take homeschooling one day at a time.  When I feel lost or frustrated because I don't get it and therefore can't teach it to my child, I first need to call upon the Lord through prayer.  I really DO need to kneel (not to put on a show) but to sincerely call out to the ONE who gives me grace.  Secondly, I need to take it one day at a time.  When the thoughts start swirling, "how am I going to teach this for 11 more years?" "I am doomed!" "My child is not going to know what he needs to know!" and on and on.  I need to take it one day at a time and trust God is in control.

God will give me the right curriculum and help for what I don't know or understand. God knows each of my days and my kids days.  I can trust in Him for their education.  Really the MOST important thing is my children's relationship with the Lord and their character.  Academics has it's place but their faith and character come first. I need to model what they need to learn.  God's Grace will allow me to do that.  God's grace will allow me to teach my children how they need to be taught.

I pray you find encouragement tonight (or whenever you read this post.)  Nobodies life is perfect.  You have a glimpse into my imperfections.  I pray that you will allow your imperfections to cause you to run quickly to the refuge of the Lord Most High! He cares and wants to do a mighty work in you.

~Blessings from an imperfect human~