My death sentence

I realize this title is a bit dramatic (because there is no potential fatality involved) but it is the way I feel right now.

On Friday I had a doctors appointment with an integrative medicine doctor.  That means that she is not traditional in that whatever symptom I had she would prescribe medicine to mask it.  Instead she actually does valuable tests and looks into the problem and what internally could be wrong. She then treats by suggesting supplements and diet/life changes as well as stuff like acupuncture and more eastern medicine alternatives.

I realized that this appointment could be life changing but hoped it wouldn't be too much. I knew deep down though that there would be serious changes ahead which is why I put it off for so long.

I left upset angry and overwhelmed - one of the things required of me is to have a GLUTEN FREE DIET.  Oh my gosh!  Was she serious?  YES unfortunately.

How can this be for a person who loves baked goods - seriously, they bring me joy.  How can this be for a person who loves wheat products and pasta and lives to eat? I love food.

I am on a roller coaster about this.  One minute I am positive and thinking it is all going to be OK because there are options out there.  Then the next minute I am down in the dumps, stressing out and sad because of the deprivation to come.  My death sentence. 

How will I eat out? How will I eat anything at parties or church functions? How will I cook for my family? How we will afford this?


I think part of the problem is my ignorance of gluten.  What is gluten? What is it in?  I feel like it is in EVERYTHING.  Also, how does a mom of hungry boys and wife to a hungry husband cook without gluten and make them like it.  So scary. 

I feel like a failure as a person because of my health that has caused this, as a mom because now I haven't the first clue as to what to cook, and a failure as a wife because I won't be hearing "Oh this is a keeper! It tastes so good." "Cook this again!"

This is one of my worst fears.

All that said, I do plan to give this my all and see if I do notice changes.  I do plan to research so I am not ignorant anymore and try and overcome these fears. I also plan to do a lot of praying because something my husband lovingly pointed out is that food could have become and idol for me or was becoming one.

I plan to post periodically about my journey through this life change.  It is going to be hard and I know it sounds silly but I have shed many tears over this.  I pray to come out on the other end of this happier and healthier and still filled with joy.

By the way, I must say that I was not angry and upset at all with my doctor.  She was very nice, helpful and thorough and willing to work with me.  Something that I rarely find in US traditional medicine today.  Hopefully this will be a start to getting rid of these health problems I have been plagued with for so long.

If you would like, feel free to come with me on this journey and see what the Lord turns up!